RUGBY VS. ARCHITECTURE

I do not like to start the day with a debate or an argument usually; but today turned out to be different.

As I sat at our dining table having breakfast, mother came and announced –

‘Do you know? Shambhavi has decided to quit rugby.’

‘What? Why?’ I asked, clearly not able to think of one sane reason why a girl in the Potentials list of International Rugby Team would want to quit suddenly; right when she was at the foothill of what could be her pinnacle.

‘She is not able to manage her studies and rugby both.’

Sigh. The age old discussion or career versus sports.

I got into quite an argument with my mother over it – which in retrospect I shouldn’t have, given that Shambhavi is neither my daughter, nor my sister, neither my best friend. She happens to be one of my schoolmates kid sister. But this is an issue very close to my heart.

Even as we have stepped into the 21st century, some thoughts, concepts and beliefs have gripped us so hard – or rather we have held onto them so firmly – that we just can’t seem to be able to dispense them.

Even today a parent is not able to convince her daughter that one can make a career in rugby too – or the parent very conveniently ‘leaves the decision upto’ the child.

Has the daughter really chosen to give up rugby because she can’t cope with studies and rugby together? And maybe she genuinely can’t cope with the two things. But would she have chosen to give up ‘rugby’ if she knew the option of making a ‘career’ in it was open/available, or that her mother would be ok with it?

And we are not talking about any random girl here. We are talking about someone who has dedicated a significant amount of her life to a sport she dearly loves, has crossed every hurdle and passed every level of selection, who has given up movies and get-togethers and maybe even a part of her social life, a boy-friend even, just so that she be able to give rugby time. We are talking here of a girl who has exceled to such a level that she is now part of the Potentials list for the International Rugby Team – a chance to represent a nation’s people for the sport she so dearly loves.

Does one give so much time and energy to something one even has the slightest idea of not being able to pursue further? I don’t think so. Every five years can now be regarded as a generation. And these newer generations are way more liberal, straight forward and free-thinking than we can imagine. Maybe few years ago this would have seemed a ridiculous idea – first the fact that it’s a ‘girl’ we are talking about, and then the fact that it is ‘sports’ we are talking about. But kids today know what they want - from making a career in dance, to becoming a free-lance self-taught photographer, to choosing to study Sports Management in the States.

But just so that their parents are happy, or just so that they don’t have to deal with too much of unnecessary debate, discussion and maybe even quarrels at the end of the day on the dining table, they will chose to travel on the same old road.

I am not trying to say that everyone should go for just exactly what their heart desires, without looking at the practicalities. But definitely a girl of the potential of Shambhavi should not be wasted in a classroom, with 60 other heads to accompany her, learning how to build buildings. No.

I think it is time we revise our concepts about ‘good career’ and ‘bad career’. Had Shambhavi known she could pursue rugby in place of architecture, maybe she would have. Yes we do need to think about money too – and there is nothing wrong in it. There is absolutely nothing wrong in ensuring you are going to be able to fill your stomach and still have cash to buy that beautiful diamond set or that amazing gizmo you saw on your way back home from college or work. But then rugby pays too! Probably more than architecture even! Then why not choose to do the work you love rather than making yourself love the work you do?

Shambhavi has still not taken her final decision… but something tells me she is going to end up quitting rugby. What the poor girl needs right now is just a bit of moral support from her parent and relatives. I know it somehow, just as I know she is going to end up quitting rugby, that she doesn’t really ‘want to’ quit… and till the day she finally decides, I will keep hoping she doesn’t.